Hey i'm more calm rn, but if someone could offer advice I'd really appreciate it. How to deal with anxiety. if you know of any stay-at-home jobs. how does disability work, how to apply what are the qualifications (and if i'm able to qualify i'd definitely try out jobs first bc that just feels like giving up). if you have any helpful sites for that or to help with anxiety. or know HOW you get help for anxiety, how do they test how bad it is?
Oooooookay well i really just wanted a place to just
talk about my concerns for my future bc i'm 18 now jesus and im gonna have to get into the real world pretty soon once school's done pretty much and that's my problem and hopefully someone can bare through this and maybe give me some advice it's not going to be too organized i dont think, its just me getting my worries out bc my boyfriend doesn't need to hear this for the thousandth time and he says we're going to figure this out together one way or another. he has hope in me but i dont have hope in myself ugh
here goes, idk i might repeat myself a few times and this might be confusing rip
well i know for a fact i have major anxiety issues, haven't been diagnosed and ik self-diagnosis is frowned upon but i really don't see a way of approaching this and feel uncomfortable and don't really want to be put in the situation where if they try to help i'd have to talk to someone or take meds ugh. it's annoying to have to take pills, and i cannot for the life of me remember things for long periods of time, if it's a daily pill i'd have to take i may get confused or later in the day take it again bc i forgot i already took it.. it's heppend to me before with some depression meds I used to take, I ended up taking 3 pills in one day when i was only supposed to take 1 bc i forgot entirely and i was like "well i need to take it bc i dont think i have and i dont want to suffer from skipping it bc the dr said i cant just suddenly stop taking it". i can't really do anything my anxiety is literally crippling. i don't like being out with people i cannot talk to people whatsoever, i either feel like i'm choking up or i just start crying. i'm really only comfortable talking to my boyfriend, i don't even really talk to my mom or anything i avoid human interaction as much as possible. most of the time i can't order food for myself, i have my boyfriend do it bc he understands but he tries to get me to do it myself some times but he doesn't like pushing me bc i'll cry. it feels like i'm about to explode whenever i do have to do things for myself, such as just buy something from the store. i just feel like i'll start crying and idk why. i just get overwhelmed.
and now i've got to start looking for jobs and try to get out there soon. i can't i really can't. i'm literally so fucking useless. i went on a job finding site and spent hours looking and hoping, but there's nothing i think i'd be able to handle. emotionally, mentally, or physically. like i really can't. i can't deal with having to be out and about with people, even co-workers i'd never be comfortable around, i'd have a mental breakdown. my body will literally shut down if i get overwhelmed and i'll just cry and shake and barely breathe. i just don't know what to do and i don't like being so useless. i have no idea how to get a stay at home job, or what stay at home jobs there are or even how those work or anything like that. that's something i'd most likely be able to handle if that were even a possibility but even then if i'd still have to meet with a boss or someone in person i'd still breakdown. and i'm so inactive here and nothing sells so art's not a way to go. i just wish i could do what normal people do, i wish i could handle social situations, i literally wish i could just die. only reason i'm alive is because of my boyfriend. and i'm serious. i just feel so pathetic and hopeless and i really don't know what to do?? i want to be able to help provide money in there future but there's .. there's no way i feel that i can and i feel like absolute garbage bc of that. like it's not just being shy, i physically can't do anything bc of how overwhelmed i get and i don't know why i'm like this.
i'm at a loss for my future rn. i'm at a loss for my ability to be a functioning adult.